Parenting : Apple Green Bikini

I have to admit to a new addiction. Well, truth be told, its’ not THAT new. But before the other night, at a friend’s dinner party, I hadn’t realized how common my new addiction actually is. This compulsion is rife, and it’s taking over my credit card.

It’s the world of online shopping. Oz sales, Ebay & Etsy to name just a few.

Before I was pregnant, I thought it was absurd. Why would you purchase something online, when you can’t see it, touch it and try it on??  Fast forward two years, and with a ten month old monster wriggling under one arm, and considerably saggier boobs than before, I think I know why.

It was fabulous timing though. Because before ‘the dinner party’ my husband genuinely believed I had a problem. I was an addict – to the point that he almost wanted me to go and ‘talk to someone about it’.  “You need to stop”, he said sternly. “None of my mates wives spend endlessly online babe. It’s getting out of control.” Rude.  And more to the point – wrong. Although I must admit, like a true addict in hiding, every time a new purchase arrived in the mail, I would quickly rip the package open, snip the tags off, and stuff the offending item into its new home (mostly in my or Max’s cupboard). I would then run and dump the redundant packaging outside in our recycling bin….sigh. All traces were gone, it was as if the item had been there forever.

Fast forward to the other night, and a few drinks later, us girls somehow got onto the topic of swimwear for summer, starting with a simple comment from the host –  “Oh, you should see my new bathers I bought online! Amazing, and they were on sale too…from America!” As she carried them out, we oohed and ahhed over the lovely bright bikini. As silence came across the table, it became apparent that the boys were now listening too. Might have had something to do with a sexy apple green bikini being flung around the table.  

Smiling, her husband pipes up “are all of your wives like this? Or is it just mine?” And with that, the table erupts into raucous stories of their online addicted wives. Each apparently more addicted than the next, “the other day, when I came home from work, I couldn’t even SEE the kitchen bench between the parcels!” . Halleluiah, I’m not alone.

Although I am currently trying to reduce my online spending, there is no doubt it’s an easy and very mum friendly way of shopping. Brightly lit change rooms highlighting cellulite can be avoided & baby tantrums prevented. What happens if the item doesn’t make you look like the skinny & tanned model wearing it on the website? Well in most cases you can just post it back for a full refund. Or worst case scenario, you could re-sell on ebay, often making more money than you had actually paid in the first place.  

So although my husband now realises my problem is not ‘monumental’, I still can’t stop myself from hiding my new purchases when they arrive.

xx Amanda